so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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