I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
