I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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