ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
