She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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