i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
