I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
