i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You left your phone here
Wait...
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