Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
