I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
