He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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