Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
