got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
