there's paper in my vomit.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize