walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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