I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I smell like Dick and happiness
There's even glitter on my cock...
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