How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize