It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
