Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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