He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize