VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
