I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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