I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
