Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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