I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize