how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
