Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
