I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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