if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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