47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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