not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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