Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize