I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize