:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
