so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
