Already got asked if we're dating
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
