why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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