She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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