Only a mothe r could love this liver
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
