Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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