I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
