"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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