Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
