I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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