why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
