I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
