She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
