it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
