I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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