It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
