i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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