can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
