I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
