Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
