i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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