That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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