I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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