just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
