More tranny stories later!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
