I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
