I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
