You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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