I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
