she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize