Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
