Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
