I just made out with a guy for $7.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
