just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
