Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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