Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
