may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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