"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
