Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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