I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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