They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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