I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
