Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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