too bad you live with your parents still
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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