I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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