Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
